Learn From Your Elders

I DID IT! All you who said I had to pay my cingular bill--in your face! Sorry, I'm so thrilled that I got my roaming charges cut in half. After a week of considering bad credit (in which my friend reminded me i would need to buy a new car next year and finding a real estate opportunity in which i might want a second mortgage). I decided i was too young to hang up my coat and hide from bill collectors.

When I told my friend about my success, she asked, "can you get my bill reduced?"

So I'll tell you how I did it. Most importantly it was not on my own. I did the all famous "conference call" with my father. He is a master of such things...the main qualities my father possesses that lead to his success in bill disputes are as follows: a calm demeanor, "old school" business words like credence and party line (definition is the 1950's version of a conference call !), and a certain aloofness. OH, and don't forget probably the most important TIME to spare and PATIENCE. No matter how savy us young-uns are, there is something to say for the lost quality of aged experience mixed with a genuine aloofness, and half a day to settle a dispute!

I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut for most of our call. It took 3 cingular reps hearing our story to get to someone who actually had the authority to negotiate with us--but we finally got there. But kudos to my dad for his perseverence, skill, and yes, cluelessness. He fought the noble battle for his daughter, and kept out of Iraq references, sware words, and defiance. His daughter needs to take some anger management classes from him :)

I Told Craig's Mom

I told her what happened when I posted an add on Boston's Craig's list...
So, everyone's seen some of the uncensored pics on craiglist..hell, some of us only open the messages with pics!
But what I experienced goes to new levels--where virtual anonymous offenses meet reality.
So, I posted a harmless ad on women s. women..to hang out with on the cape. I get two particular repsonses that are from couples.

"Are you interested in a couple?" they wrote.
"A couple of what?" I replied.

He proceeded to explain that he was straight, his girlfriend bi...and would like to meet up in P-town for drinks.

I said i wasn't interested. He still sent me a picture.

The next couple had a similar request. This time, less naive, in repsonse to "are you interested" i wrote...

"Do you mean SEX?"

He sheepishly replied..well, drinks , dinner, if we hit it off...sure!

Once again, not interested, but enjoyed making him admit what he wanted.

So, on my own, i go out to Vixen in Ptown to have an adventure. While talking to a nice girl at the bar...i spot them---the bleach blonded barbie/ken couple...their hair so bleached they lit up the dark club. They were so obvious..sitting on the arm chair together peering at the women who they could prey on. The guy so obnoxious, he spoke so loud that everyone overheard him..his lame attempt to try and meet people. And then, even when I offered no eye contact, he demanded to know where i was going when i left the bar to get away from him.

I confided in my new friend who that couple was and how they were desperately trying to arrange a threesome for themselves. It was so great to know who they were, while remaining unknown myself. It really gave me some satisfaction to spread their "motive" to some women i met...it made up for how obnoxious it seemed to assume that lesbians would ever be interested in THAT!

Craig's List

I am imagining Craig's mom, who lives in a humble house in a suburb of San Fransisco..."Why Craig...you said it was a tasteful way for people, like you and your friends' friends to meet. You showed me how to dial up on the internet and see the web site you created, your "baby", you used to call it. Not many moms knew how to use the internet then, I was one of the proud first...a far cry from a grandchild, but still i was proud. You never did take the straight path--the peace corp and national parks, and living in dingy apartments in Frisco. I was proud. But I have to say I am shocked! I went on your site yesterday, seeing the progress...and there are some awful filthy things. You should be ashamed. Really. And your name is all over the country!"

Craig

Cutting the Chord

Ah, sweet confrontation. Sometimes it brings out my better side. So today I ended my 4 year dysfuntional relationship with AT&T/ Cingular Wireless. This summer they couldn't credit my account for roaming charges, like they had done in the past. "Cathy" who couldn't provide me with a contact phone number or email (sure sign of excellent customer service) told me my roaming charges were justified. I said, "and some people say bombing Iraq is justified". This southern belle (at least she's in the domestic US) was silenced. I continued "we're human here, and your customer service isn't what I signed up for with AT&T, so I'd like to cancel. The dumb robotic woman asked, "do you have any friends who would be interested in our service?". I said, "why would I ever recommend this service which i think sucks, hence i'm cancelling my service...?" once again, silenced.

She proceeded to threaten me with cancelling charges, and what our relationship "could have been". I said...your loss...and by the way, i'm not paying any of the bills you send me...get your collecting agents geared up! Have a nice life....

Why does this oddly resemble bad break-ups?

Balloon

A first grader took out a condom in Spanish class yesterday. He was stretching it, blowing it up, and getting attention from his classmates for his little toy.
When i took it away from him (in a napkin) i asked where he got it. He said at home..."i want my balloon back".
You should have seen this mother's face when i had to ask her to keep her personal things "out of the reach of children"...yet, now she won't be able to reach them...and I think its probably best she does.

ouch..that's harsh--i love her son--- but stupid people are parents.